A Mum

Please note, the following story is not my original. I received this story in one of those emails that does the rounds. I don't know where it originated but I do think that its a pretty good story. I hope that I haven't offended anyone in terms of copyright and, if I have, I apologise in advance.

"A woman, renewing her driver's licence at the local licencing office, was asked by the clerk to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. "What I mean is," explained the clerk, "do you have a job or are you just a .... ?"

"Of course I have a job," snapped the woman, "I''m a mum."

"We don't list 'Mum' as an occupation: 'housewife' covers it," said the clerk emphatically.

I forgot all about this story until one day I found myself in the same situation at our local licencing office. The clerk was obviously set on a career. She was poised, confident, and a little intimidating. "What is your occupation?" she probed.

What made me say it? I don't know. The words simply popped out. "I'm a Research Associate in the field of child development and human relations."

The clerk paused: fingers frozen over the keyboard; and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly emphasising the most significant words. Then I stared in wonder as my pronouncement was input in bold, black type on the official record.

"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?"

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research (what mother doesn't) in the laboratory and in the field (normally I would have said 'indoors and out'). I'm working for my Master's (first the kids and then the whole family) and already have 4 credits (all daughters). Of course the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day (24 is more like it!). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of satisfaction rather than just money.

There was an increased note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form and we parted.

As I drove into our driveway, bouyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants - ages 13, 7 and 3. In the bedroom I could hear our new experimental model (a 6 month old baby) in the child development program testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another housewife".

Motherhood! What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on the door!

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More information about me and how I may be able to help you at http://www.angelalong.com.au/

Coping with a newborn and a toddler or young child

If you already have one child, when you arrive home after giving birth to the next child there can be some tensions in meeting the demands of both children. Many mums wonder how they will cope.

There are some issues that need to be addressed.

Sometimes the younger child can feel insecure because, having been the centre of attention, he or she is now sharing that attention. The underlying fear is that they have been replaced and won't get any attention now.

It is important to make them feel special.

Get him or her involved by letting them help you. In my experience they love helping mummy by getting the bath ready for baby and/or by helping mummy get the baby's clothes ready for when baby has had a bath. Try to involve them in as many things as possible when you are caring for the new bub.

And when baby is asleep, try to give your older child some special attention. I found that one-on-one activities like doing a puzzle or playing some special game was always appreciated.

You know that they both need your love and attention. They know it too. The important thing is to make sure the older child really experiences those things that show him or her just how special they still are.

For more information about me and how I may be able to help you, see http://www.angelalong.com.au

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